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Three weeks ago, I stubbed my toe into devastation.

I could hardly walk for a few days (let alone run). Two weeks later, I picked up where I left off and decided to continue my running schedule.

My toe had other plans.

The second run was pretty painful. My toe swelled to double its original size and I took three steps back (I could hardly walk again). This was on Monday. Since then, I’ve kept my foot elevated and remained barefoot whenever possible. It is healing (I guess) and today I can walk without too much of a limp. I have decided not to run until it is completely healed (to avoid another setback).

Instead, I’ve been doing Amanda Russell workouts to stay in shape. She kicked my butt last Thursday. In fact, I couldn’t sit without cursing that workout, because my bum was in such pain. I’ve also mixed in other workouts to tide me over, but it’s not the same as running. Since the weather has warmed, I have lost the hoodie and the facemask. I figure by Monday my toe should be completely healed (right?) and I’ll be able to run then. I hope, anyway. I feel like one mishap after another is taking over my running life.

I’ve also tried the Joshi Detox, but I only stayed with it for just under two weeks. He tries to get you to quit eating acidic foods and sugar, while simultaneously changing your palate to prefer healthier foods that promote digestion and better organ function (essentially). He has a list of foods that you can eat and a list to stay away from. He has a list of recipes in the back, but they are pretty boring. Despite being able to eat a lot of foods, it can seem draining. You can’t have any condiments, save for a pinch of salt and pepper (or herbs). It’s a gluten-free diet and this is probably the hardest part of the whole thing. You can’t have half of the things that you’re used to eating. If you look at any ingredient label, you’re bound to find wheat. There is absolutely no wheat allowed on this detox. It might sound easy, but check out your cabinets.

I implore you.

Pancakes, bread, cereal (even the “good” kinds), white rice, pasta, soy sauce, ice cream, ketchup, seitan, gravy powder, processed meats, soups, and plenty of others.

Looking at labels is something everyone should already be doing, but seeing wheat as an ingredient is probably the most heartbreaking thing when you’re hungry and realizing that your entire kitchen is a gluten war-zone.

Also, no fruit during the three weeks except for bananas. Thankfully, I love bananas, so this was okay; however, now that I am not detoxing, my freezer is stocked with mangos, pineapples, blueberries, cherries, and strawberries.

Initially, I began sleeping better. I didn’t even realize I was on a detox. I don’t think I’ve ever slept as well as I have slept while doing this detox. Since then, my sleep isn’t as great, but I’ll never forget those nights I had. Thanks Joshi. A more pressing topic was my skin. My face broke out with flesh-colored pimples. At first, I ignored them, because I knew it was my body flushing itself of toxins. After about a week, it got to be rough. I couldn’t stand to touch my face after brushing my teeth. I felt little bubbles and, at one point, I think my face itched. (Disclaimer: this could be my utter disgust with my face and I THOUGHT it itched, but I don’t know.)  It started to clear up after I drank a liver cleansing drink.

The day I quit the detox was a depressing one. It was Saint Patrick’s Day. A gluten-free pizza was put in the oven. This pizza looked delicious and smelled great.

Looks can be deceiving.

This was not edible.

For dessert, I tried to make carob fudge. This was also inedible. The next day, I tried to stick to it, but ultimately gave up. I had Chinese food and have never looked back. I did discover that my diet is typically Joshi-approved, except I do have gluten via whole grain bread. Sorry, Joshi. When you can give me a better alternative to this bread (and none of that brown rice bread), I will give up Sara Lee.

Overall, I would suggest the Joshi Detox for anyone that wants to change their lifestyle and/or eat healthier.

I have, however, grown partial to grapefruit. This is unfortunate, because the birth control I’m currently on can have severe side-effects if I eat grapefruit. I only mention this in case there is someone out there that has also discovered the joys of grapefruit. Don’t shoot the messenger. I used to hate grapefruit, but while on the detox, was encouraged to have it (in a drink, anyway). I actually enjoyed it more than an orange or a cutie (which I haven’t been feeling these days anymore).

Another thing I have discovered (which I previously disliked) is avocado. I had my first one today and sliced a fourth of it on some toast. I only had one piece, but liked it so much that I had two pieces tonight after class. I also drizzled some honey (mostly to be fancy…okay, and because I love honey like a long-lost family member) on the avocado and toast…aiojsiushoi! It was the best! Tonight, I saw a photo of toast with avocado and scrambled eggs.

Guess what I’m having tomorrow for breakfast?

I still do not like guacamole, but I think these things take time.  I mean, it’s taken me years to try an avocado. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve bought them, but they go bad while I look at them.