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Sexual harassment has always been kind of a gray area for me. I’m a woman and, like most women (whom I know), I loathe being viewed as fragile, dainty, or weak.

I think all women have dealt with some form of harassment, but there’s a line that can’t be crossed. It’s subjective.

Here’s my line. I’m pretty liberal on this, because I ignore 99% of what people say (men and women).

The 1% that makes me uncomfortable is what I’ll discuss.

At first, I thought about professional settings, but this spans all settings when you don’t know a woman (or man).

Under no circumstance should you ever come on strongly to anyone. For the love of God, you will make me reach for my pocketknife, and trust me, I will go for the eyes.

“Hey, good looking” is disturbing. If you follow up with “I’m doing about as good as you’re looking,” you’re a pathetic douchebag, and I hope your future wife miscarries forever. Forever.

No rational being wants your seed.

Actually, let me list things that are completely unacceptable:

1. Do not wink and give a dirty smile with too many teeth. It makes us vomit a little.
2. Do not say anything cheesy. We’re not in a bar, and it wouldn’t work for any self-respecting woman, either.
3. Do not say anything cheesy and expect us to fall all over ourselves.
4. Do not boldly ask us out anywhere (some women or men might find this bold, sexy, or something, but I am speaking for myself. I think you’re an arrogant shit and I want to spit on your face.) If you don’t know someone, the wise thing to do is have a conversation where you aren’t a cocky snob.
5. Do not shout at us. If we aren’t within earshot, we probably don’t want to be.
6. Do not whistle at us. We aren’t dogs.
7. Don’t be a douchebag.
8. Learn to take no for an answer. If someone says, “I’m not interested in you,” it doesn’t need to be followed up with “why? Do you have a boyfriend?” That’s completely irrelevant. We don’t like you. Believe it or not, not every woman pities your pathetic ego and goes on a date with you. Some of us (sadly, only so few) can say, “I do not like you as a person,” and move on.

There’s a defense for the above eight. Here’s what I’ve been told to justify some of this behavior.

1. You’re attractive, so you should just be glad someone notices you.
2. It could be worse. That guy could’ve said you were ugly and ignored you.
3. It’s a free country. Why are you so negative?
4. You could give the guy a chance. He’s really nice. I feel bad for him.

First of all, my goal in life is not to be noticed. If I wanted to be noticed, I’d wear gold spandex and tease all my hair. If I wanted to be noticed, I’d be noticed by everyone on the planet. My goal is not to be noticed.

Couldn’t dying in a fiery car wreck be worse? How about losing the love of your life to a terminal illness? I’m pretty sure I can think of a thousand other terrible things. Some guy calling me ugly is the least of my troubles. I had some loser throw donuts at me in high school. Literally. I was singled out and picked on every day by this scumbag. My life has gone on. My life will go on if someone calls me ugly or ignores me.

Yes, it’s a free country. If I happen to respond with, “knock it off. This is not okay,” I’m entitled to.

Take a note on this one: guys who complain about women ALWAYS screwing them over are all liars. Unless they are complete morons (LAWL on second thought), there are always three sides to every story. If a guy is persistently pushing the envelope on a girl even if she says no, he’s a scumbag and should be shit on by every girl every time, without a doubt. Forever. We all know “really nice guys” who aren’t. So, no, Mr. Persistent is a scumbag.

So yeah, don’t be a scumbag.

I’m not fragile, I’m not dainty, and I’m definitely not weak. I am fed up, though. Women aren’t cold hearted or stuck up bitches because we don’t blush at your pathetic plays for our attention. Learn to take no for an answer. If we like you, it’s obvious. If we don’t, MOST of us let you know.

If you’re a scumbag, you’re a scumbag. Sure, some guys aren’t scumbags. Some are actually decent. Maybe even great.

Here’s the thing about this free country: we don’t have to like you. We can coexist without flirting with you to soothe your extremely sensitive ego.

You’re welcome.

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