How to Adult – 101

Tags

life, stress, stress management, venting

Life will get rough.

At some point, you will be sitting in a bathroom as a way to take a time-out from the world—you’ll wonder if anyone’s noticed your absence.

You’ll wonder if there’s a window, a getaway car, a trunk full of cash, and another life just around the next corner.

There’s probably not a window, and you really could just walk out.

I know.

Bad days are inevitable. Bad weeks. Bad months.

They aren’t forever, though.

As an adult, I’ve learned a few things through trial and error. I am, by no means, an expert on dealing with the miserable days.

Be Careful to Whom You Vent

Everyone has his or her own woe. So you hate your job. Every day at work you wonder what you’ve done in a past life to deserve this job. Leaving work every night, you try to find a way out of your predicament. Maybe it’s not your job. Maybe you can’t stand your significant other. Maybe they have atrocious hygiene habits, and maybe they just grate on your nerves like no other before. You’ll call someone up, because you need to vent. You need to tell another soul what just happened in your day. Your boss threw you under the bus yet again, or your significant other didn’t put on deodorant for the fifth day in a row and wanted an extended hug.

Be confident that the person on the other end doesn’t find you annoying. There’s a high probability that they think their problem is worse (it may or may not be). They could find you irritating, because you’re too negative (even if the event happened less than ten minutes ago, and you’re still technically in the heat of the moment and rightfully upset).

Worse yet, they may try to offer you advice.

If you don’t ask someone for advice, you probably don’t want it. If you hate your job, or something in your life that you actually can’t change (let’s be honest, we could break up with smelly guy), then you already know you have to change it. You already understand that this is a variable that you are working on. You’ve probably spent hours and nights coming up with solutions. Maybe you play the lottery. Maybe you apply to different jobs. Maybe you’re still brainstorming. Hey, maybe you’re a masochist, and this is helping you in some weird way.

Sometimes, the person on the receiving end of your information can be another woe altogether. If your day is already ruined, I don’t think that venting about it can always help. Sure, if you want to call up your equally miserable friend in a similar situation and have drinks over the phone while you lament – by all means; that’s what friends are for.

I just wouldn’t vent in the heat of the moment. It can escalate and cause another problem altogether.

Save your venting when the moment’s passed.

Save your venting for your dog while he’s watching you cook.

Make Light of Your Situation

I don’t get easily upset, but when I do get upset, it’s all at once and I want to dig a hole and never come out.

Ever.

I haven’t found prime real estate for my hole, so I’ve had to come up with alternate solutions.

Recently, my sister told me to pretend I was on a sitcom. So, every time I go to the bathroom, someone decides to take the stall directly next to me. Wouldn’t that be funny if it was on Friends? Maybe not hysterically funny – whatever; beggars can’t be choosers.

You accidentally tooted in front of your significant other’s mother.

Your phone restarts during navigation.

Think of a horrible thing that’s happened that now you laugh at.

Remember That One Time

It can get worse, and you know it. One night, I was sitting in 50 minutes of traffic. I complained to anyone who would pick up the phone. “I have to relocate – this is unacceptable,” I told everyone. Then, one day, as I walked to my car after work, I checked the traffic. “Traffic is unusually heavy tonight – 77 minutes to get home.”

“She must think I’m walking,” I thought.

No, I sat in traffic for nearly 80 minutes.

Since that fateful day, I have since come to appreciate the 45 minute “unusually heavy” commute.

Or how about all those times you’ve had mini heart attacks over things you couldn’t control. How many nights did you stay up all night in horror over something that eventually never impacted you as terribly as you thought it would?

One too many.

So, try not to stress TOO much, because it’s probably going to get worse if it hasn’t already.

Then, at least you’ll have a mile marker.

This isn’t permanent

The one thing that has always gotten me through my days was the constant mental reassurance that I will never be stuck in filth. If I’m unhappy, it can’t possibly last forever, because I’m a big baby.

Read: intolerant alpha.

I may seem quiet, I may seem passive, but mark my words, my gears are constantly turning.

I’m on the treadmill – plotting.

I’m cooking dinner – plotting.

I’m sitting in 77 minutes of traffic – plotting.

Make The Best of It

At least you have a car to sit in traffic with. At least you have a good income. At least you have your health. At least you have your loved ones. At least you have your perfect dog. At least you have a warm bed and a lot of food in your belly. At least you have two best friends who love you. At least you have someone you love. At least you have your faith. At least you’re living in an age where you pay 10$ for unlimited music a la Spotify. At least you have fantastic taste in music.

And really, that’s all more than least.

Try to remember that the next time you’re in the bathroom looking at the window.

I’ll try, too.

Secrets Revealed…

I’d like to share a secret that has changed my life. I’m pretty sure I shared it over a year ago, but it deserves its own post.

You know that film of white or yellow (or whatever color yours is) that sits on your tongue at the end of the day (and hey, let’s be honest, probably the morning, too)?

You don’t have to scrub it away with your brush – that’s disgusting.

You don’t even have to use those weird little bubble things on the back of your toothbrush head.

No.

There’s this invention, and it’s called the tongue scraper.

This (along with floss) is probably my very best friend in life.

When you’re done brushing your teeth, and you feel like your teeth are clean, but your mouth still feels funky from all that garlic and onion (and pizza and ice cream and and and) you ate (whoops!), you should use your handy, dandy tongue scraper.

You don’t press incredibly hard on your tongue or anything, and it doesn’t make you gag like a toothbrush can. It’s as simple as, oh I don’t know, scraping your tongue with said tongue scraper.

Bad breath? Gone.

Nasty film on your tongue? Long gone.

Great, clean mouth feeling? Check (make sure you floss and mouthwash, of course)!

I discovered the tongue scraper last year, and boy has my life never been more complete.

Don’t be alarmed if at first your tongue scraper has your nasty gunk all over it – that’s the point! That’s bacteria (and I really don’t know what else or care what else; it’s absolutely disgusting is what it is)!

Rinse it with warm water. You’ll probably have to use your fingers at first to get it all off; however, the more you do it (i.e.: every night), the less will be on there.

Of course, I hope you’re already flossing and using mouthwash regularly, because if you don’t floss, all that tasty raw fish in your sushi is sitting in between your teeth, having a dance party and plaque-ing up your teeth.

Please floss. I don’t want to write about the importance of flossing; I think we’re all old enough to know that’s not something you skip.

So, the next time you’re at the dentist, and they tell you, “wow, you have phenomenal teeth; it’s like I have nothing to clean,” just smile your dazzling, clean, white teeth, because you earned it.

Now, go get that tongue scraper!

note: they are like 7$ on Amazon (and you get two!), so you can share with someone you love or just someone who really needs it.