Leg day with a side of Fiona

Tags

21 day fix, exercise, fitness, health, healthy, workout

Last night’s sleep score was 80 with 25% deep and 75% light sleep.

My resting bpm was 60 today.

It’s not perfect, but I’ll take it as a work in progress.

Truthfully, today I’m a bit disheartened. The jumping jacks during the warm-ups were painful for my chest, back and thighs. The first exercise elongated the tense and sore muscles. The second one was all right, but I have to admit that I did a lot less squats with knee raises than I’m used to.

I used to power through all of these workouts.

Without sounding like a negative Nan, I feel lame and out of shape.

To most people, I doubt that I look any different today than I looked last summer on the beach.

To me, I’m definitely flabby. My butt isn’t the perky little butt I worked so hard to get. My legs have a little jiggle to them. I’m not anywhere near where I was before.

We don’t have a scale here, and I don’t really want one. Not too long ago, I was crazy obsessed with my weight. Your weight is a number. I probably weigh more than I weighed last summer, but that’s irrelevant. When I was working out every day and eating healthy, I weighed about 125. When I was eating garbage and trying to skip meals, I weighed 120 (on a good day), but I was still a flabby Fiona.

I’d rather be toned, have some muscle and feel good rather than be a small number on the scale and unhealthy. My fitness goals are half vanity and half health.

I feel like people sometimes get caught up on the vanity aspect. “People who work out every day are just vain and in love with themselves.”

That’s dismissive and quite ignorant. There is nothing wrong with doing things that bring you joy. If having a great body brings you joy, why does that have to be negative?

Back to today.

Part 3 of the workout was the hardest. I can only get through almost (try 30 seconds of) the entire split squats. My legs burn and feel like jelly. This was also when I was at my peak and doing it every day for months. UGH.

My legs are just sore.

I had leftover chicken stir fry with a protein shake and…a scoop of ice cream. Yeah, looking at my flabby butt in the mirror tonight, I definitely am not thrilled about the ice cream, but c’est la vie.

I wanted to take Mogli for a walk to the park, but it started raining three blocks in. We climbed the mountain back to our house in the rain (thankfully, I brought an umbrella).

So, day 3 is down. If I remember correctly, tomorrow is Pilates.

I’ve decided that once the 21 days are up, I’m going to do the Bikini Body Guide that I did for two weeks a couple of years ago. That was much rougher than the 21 day fix.

Also…it’s only 27 minutes.

HEH!

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Day 2 -Quite Sore

Tags

21 day fix, change, exercise, health, lifestyle, working out

Last night I got 8.5 hours of sleep. Kevin got this nifty sheet that measures your sleep. So far, my average is about a 79 out of 100. It’s considered average. Last night my score was 85. There was a second sleep score that was 39. Upon further inspection, Mogli took a nap in the bed between 9:46 and 11:46. He fell asleep as soon as his body hit the bed. Poor guy. Also for the first time, my sleep was 30% deep and 70% light. Usually it’s around 20% deep. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with The Fix, but after I finished making pancakes and scrambled eggs for us, I mentioned my sleep score to Kevin and he joked that it was obvious I had great sleep last night. LAWL

My heart rate has bugged me since I quit working out. My resting bpm was between 57 – 59 from June to October. A few weeks after not doing the workouts, my heart rate climbed to 60, 61, 62 and even 63.

It’s normal. Those are healthy ranges. I know. Blah blah.

It’s also true that your heart rate can be lower. Runner’s have lower heart rates. Elite athletes, etc. I know I’m not in that boat, but you know what—I liked my 57-59.

Since moving to San Francisco, I’ve had daily workouts. Yes, walking up and down the hills to get to and from everywhere takes a serious toll on my shins and calves, but they’ve acclimated now. The hill to our house is still something I’m not used to. That being said, my heart rate on Tuesday was 59. Yesterday and today it’s back to 60, but let’s just say I’m a little smug about this recent change in events.

Back to this morning.

“Sore” is an understatement. My thighs felt like heavy bricks. Every time I had to go from standing to sitting was followed by a loud groan. Every time I noticed my posture had gone to crap, I straightened up and felt each one of my abs rip apart my stomach. Just imagining doing the next workout was enough to make me reach for the pain reliever.

I know, I don’t typically do that, but I couldn’t fathom working through that pain.

Day two wasn’t as terrible as I imagined, though. Don’t get me wrong, the jumping jacks hurt my legs and stomach, and the jogging in place ripped up my thighs, but it was easier. The workout is focused on arms and abs, so it was manageable. Autumn said something about wanting something you’ve never had, that you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

Armed with the knowledge that I have done it before, I pressed on. The pushups were a killer. I was able to do 20 before. I could only do 4 before I dropped to my knees and cried my way through the 60 seconds. Excuses soared through my head as fast as I could refute them.

Me: You’ve done this before! You can do it again.
Quitter: Yeah, but you’re so out of shape now.
Me: Is that all you’ve go—
Quitter: You should just quit. This hurts too much.
Me: You can do it
Quitter: Yeah, but what if you can’t…
Me: Other people have done it. People morbidly obese. People much older. Peop—
Quitter: Just stop

I paused a handful of times, and I’m not proud of it. When I got to the scissor twists and the circle crunches, I was convinced that my stomach lining was literally tearing as I twisted.

It wasn’t as horrible because I didn’t have to work my overworked legs.

It wasn’t as horrible because there were only two rounds to repeat twice.

It wasn’t horrible because it really was 60 seconds of fighting with myself to just get it done.

It wasn’t as horrible because I didn’t quit. If I quit, it would have been harder. I would have to admit that I failed. I would have to come up with a big enough excuse for not having done it. I think working out is mostly fighting the urge to quit. Your body is surprisingly resilient. It’s your brain that you have to convince.

The sooner I suck it up and fight through the pain, the closer I am to being strong enough to not feel this extreme pain.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew just how bad it would hurt every single time I had that extra side of mashed potatoes. I knew it every time I shoveled that extra dark chocolate kit kat into my mouth over winter break. I knew it during every moment that I felt like “…you really shouldn’t eat this crap” but then did anyway.

I knew this moment would come back one day. I knew I was going to start working out.

I also knew that I wasn’t going to make any excuses for myself. If it hurts, then maybe I shouldn’t have quit. If it hurts, then maybe I won’t quit again.

I do feel stronger, but I still feel like a bloated little blob. All of me is still so sore.

Tomorrow is leg and butt day. I also remember that tomorrow is Autumn’s favorite little “BONUS ROUND” with her kickbacks.

Leg day is (far and away) THE hardest for me (if I remember correctly), but it’s also my favorite. I always knew that if anything was kicking my butt into shape (literally), it was those 30 minutes.

Anyway, day two is done, and it was bad, but it’s done, and that’s good enough for me.

Motivation Beyond January

Tags

21 day fix, exercise, health, Journey, lifestyle, working out

Most of my growth occurs during times when my life is pretty unbearable. I find weakness of character revolting. When life gives me lemons, I don’t make lemonade. I find other lemons to spite the original lemons, and I make lemon meringue pie and tell the other lemons to kick rocks.

If there is one thing that propels me forward, it’s the negatives.

There are a number of ways to handle the negative circumstances in your life, and the only way I’ve ever handled them has been to fight back what brought me down. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I never sat around and cried because I felt like my life was in shambles (and it absolutely was at the time), but it didn’t last longer than that night.

The next day, I’d be up trying to figure out how to screw over whatever screwed me over to begin with. How could I avenge my own sadness? How could I make it rue the day I was put down?

It takes longer than a day, and it’s not a quick fix.

I had to be better than I was before. The old me may have gotten stuck in this circumstance, but the new me wouldn’t.

I never realized that this is what drove my actions, but I realize it now. Everything had to change. I pride myself on not ever changing, but the truth is: I am constantly changing. My fundamentals remain: I’m ambitious, determined, goal-oriented, yada yada

Everything else has to be calibrated, though—and regularly.

Last summer, I started doing the 21 Day Fix. My coworker suggested it, so Kevin and I started it. I was skinny fat. You know, when you eat decently, but you cheat sometimes, and you have zero muscle tone. Totally out of shape, but looking average.

I started in May and I didn’t stop until October. Obviously that was more than 21 days. My mom joined me in July and kept at it until October, as well. Yes, my mom who was totally out of shape did it with me. She also grew to like it. Every single day.

I haven’t done any workouts since October. It’s safe to say my muscle tone is diminished, and I am a blob. I’m muscle-less and tone-less, and weak. I can barely do the warm-up without wanting to quit.

I started Day 1 today: Total Body Cardio. It was rough. There were moments in the workout where I stopped to catch my breath. I finished it, though. I didn’t finish it because I’m in shape. I didn’t finish it because I’m skinny. I didn’t finish it for any reason except my own motivation. I wanted to get back to where I was in October. It was incredibly hard. My legs feel like jelly and I can hardly lift my arms. I’ll definitely feel the burn tomorrow.

Here’s the thing, though: I feel good. The 30 minutes are over. The sweating is done. The overheating is gone. All that’s left is me. I could have quit during the first five minutes. I could have said, “I can’t do this. Who cares what I look like or how healthy I am?” I easily could have thrown in the towel.

Autumn, the woman who does the fix, says that strength doesn’t come from what you can do; it comes from doing what you thought you couldn’t do. I wasn’t able to do some of the exercises with an 8lbs weight. I had to use the 3.5lbs. I didn’t make that an excuse to just quit. I actually rolled my ankle during the second exercise.

I didn’t quit.

My ankle is fine, and I took my time during that exercise the second time.

 

I’ll update once my 21 days are up. Maybe in between.

Spring Runs

Tags

fitness, health, life, running

Several years ago, I started running to get into better shape. I was skinny fat—you know, where you’re thin but probably unhealthy and actually gross.

I started with a running program I found online, and I only ran in my backyard, because I was too embarrassed to run around the neighborhood. I could only do one lap around my yard without feeling out of breath and lame.

Within a couple of months, I was up to running 30 minutes at a time.

Me.

When people refer to me as “you’ve always been active,” I really laugh inside, because the most active thing I used to do was dance in my room by myself once or twice a month.

Of course, after I could run 30 minutes (close to three miles), I started to push it, because I have zero limits. “I can probably do 35 minutes,” I told myself that first semester at Rutgers. “38 minutes isn’t that much more than 35—I can probably do this.”

“You know what—I could probably run every day, because I’m pretty sure real runners run every day.”

Then one fateful day during my lunch break at school, I finished running about 3.5 miles.

That’s when I felt it.

My legs were on fire. Every step felt worse than the one before.

Ever since that day, I really haven’t been back to myself.

So, I do 2 – 6 miles a week (depending on my legs), and someday I’ll be up to 20 a week, but it’ll take time.

Spring is my absolute favorite running season, because of a few things.

1. I love the smell of flowers. I smell hyacinth and roses and who knows what. I can’t describe how much I love the smell of flowers, and especially when I’m running and take a breath. ERMERGERD.
2. I love the sun on my face, and the wind at the most random times. I love the warmth, and then I love the shade moments later. I run in a residential area, so I get the shade of tons of shade after an uphill run in the sun.
3. I get to see people’s homes. Some people leave their front doors open. Others spend their afternoons gardening. I get to see it all, and I really like it.
4. I get to see who lives where. I really don’t know anyone in my town, and I kind of like it that way. I like to think that there are probably really interesting characters, so when I see people, I create a story about their lives. So, there’s this one guy five blocks over, and in my story, he’s a doctor who’s looking for his soul mate, but every day, he’s pretty sure he isn’t going to find her. There’s a plot twist, though. His soul mate is a nurse on duty in a neighboring hospital. They’ll meet pretty soon, and I’ll probably get to wave at them on a future run.
5. I get to see all of the flowers blooming. The smell is one thing, but have you seen my floral board on Pinterest? Yeah, today I found a field of dandelions and I almost stopped to pick one, but figured I’d leave it with its people.
6. I feel like I’m getting somewhere. I turn down different roads all the time. I go to different places. I pass other runners. I like to explore my own town. I can’t wait until I’m elsewhere, I will explore that place so hard.
7. I like to listen to important, upbeat songs that mean something. I mean, I love the other fun songs, but the treadmill and the road are so different. On the treadmill, I have a 144 BPM playlist that gets me through the mundane-ness of it all. On the road, I can listen to meaningful songs that make me want to go further. It’s just nice.
8. My final reason is that I can do anything I really apply myself to. Being who I am, I never thought I’d be able to actually enjoy exercise, but I do. I know it sounds corny, but that “runner’s high” that people talk about is actually a thing. There comes a point (and I can only imagine it’s infinitely better when you’re logging 10-12 miles at a time) during my run where I get into a rhythm and nothing matters anymore. I’ve forgotten about the stressors at work. I’ve forgotten about the people who I didn’t matter enough to. I’ve forgotten about the jobs I didn’t get. I’ve forgotten about everything, and I’m just running to wherever I feel like going. It’s incredible when the sun hits my face at just the right time, when I smell the perfect flower, and when a gust of wind hits me and the beads of sweat dissipate.

So yeah, I may only be doing a couple of miles every other day, but they matter most.

Take Care of Your Mouth, Please

Tags

brushing, crest, floss, health, hygiene, oral hygiene, whitening, whitestrips

“Do you floss?”

If I care about you at all, I’ll probably ask you this at some point. Some people ask if you buckle up in the car. Some people don’t ask anything.

Oral hygiene is huge. Thankfully, most of the important people in my life all agree. I know, because I’ve asked them.

Tonight, while brushing my teeth, I thought, “hm, why don’t I write about this?”

It was either this or the topic of love.

I don’t want to write about love. I don’t even want to read or watch it, either. I know. Pride and Prejudice is taking a backseat. Sorry, Mr. Darcy. I love you to the moon and back, but I just can’t see you right now. Besides, your heart belongs to Lizzie, and I’ve never dealt with unrequited love very well.

Teeth!

Aside from noticing height, I notice a smile first. I check that thing out. Let’s not kid ourselves, I have tiny little teeth and if you look closely, they’re not straight. In fact, if you catch my profile sometime, and really look, I have summer teeth.

Some are this way, some are that way.

Not funny? I laughed when I heard it yesterday. Hard.

So, I’m not on a high horse when I type about hygiene. I’m right there with everyone else (I hope). I’d like fresh breath, a clean mouth, and if I’m lucky, a nice smile.

Since I was little, I was extra careful about my teeth. I brushed morning and night (I skipped some nights, let’s not joke—probably more than a year’s worth if we’re being collective).

In my mouth care arsenal, I have a few weapons that I’m going to share with you.

Toothbrush: for the past six or seven years, I’ve been using the same brand of toothbrush (I’m a one toothbrush kind of lady). It’s the Oral-B Pro-Health All-In-One toothbrush in soft (I used to get medium, but my dentist said to go with soft). Target sells them in a five pack, and I changed my toothbrush every two-three months. I’ll admit, I’ve always been a vicious brusher. I’m the person that has a mangled looking toothbrush after a week’s worth of brushing. So, if you’ve been in my room and seen a toothbrush that looked like someone scrubbed a tunnel with it, it’s mine. Apparently, you aren’t supposed to brush hard, but I can’t not brush hard, you know? If I don’t, I feel like I’m not really doing my job and the germs are still hanging around. Some habits are hard to break.

I’ve stood by this toothbrush for years. I love this toothbrush, and if I had to, I’d go back to it in a heartbeat (I’ll always love you, Oral-B. You were my first love, for sure).

Yes, that’s right. I’ve dumped it for a new brand recently. I know, I thought we’d live happily ever after, too, but such is life, right?

Steven is going to school for dental hygiene, and last semester, he received a Phillips Sonicare brush, and he gave it to me. It’s been sitting in its box in my room for months now. I never wanted to use it, because I was stuck on my old one (isn’t that always the way). Just because the new one had bells and whistles didn’t mean it was for me. My Oral-B had stood by me for years. Why ruin a good thing?

Well, I ran out of my Oral-B’s a few days ago and I haven’t bought a new pack, so I decided to try this thing. I expected it to be awful. I expected it to run out of juice within a minute. I expected terrible things.

You know what they say about expectations…

This is the best toothbrush, ever.

I think this is what people are like when they meet their soul mates. You think you found them before. Maybe one of them got away. I don’t know what your personal deal is, but then one day, you open the box and you find just what you didn’t even know you were looking for after all these years.

(hopeless romantic, party of one. Check please)

This particular brush has three settings: clean, whiten, gum care. Then it has three intensities. It also has a specific brushing system while you brush. If you read the book thoroughly (I scanned, buh!), it breaks your mouth into quadrants and the brush quietly beeps and pauses for a nanosecond when it’s finished brushing one quadrant.

I’ve never really looked forward to brushing my teeth, but now I love it. I brush, whiten, and gum care it up twice a day. I’d do it more often, but I worry that’s freak-level.

Once I’m done, I rinse the brush, and place it in a UV chamber.

WUT?

A UV chamber that disinfects your brush. How spiffy is that?! It cleans it for 10 minutes, and then you can keep it in there or just put the lid on the top.

If I had to recommend a brush for you, it’d be this one. It’s the Phillips Sonicare FlexCare Platinum. I highly recommend you get it if brushing isn’t your favorite thing yet. BEST EVER.

Floss: Plackers – Gentle Fine. I have pretty tight teeth, so these slide right in and get the job done. There isn’t any nasty touching of the string, either. At the end of the floss, there’s also a toothpick, so these are great to carry with you. The reasons for flossing are many, but I have two that are the most important to me.

1. It’s disgusting if you don’t. Sure, if you use mouthwash, you’re killing the bacteria, but there’s buildup. If you’re like me and enjoy sushi, occasional sweets, and any other food, you’re going to have some funk. If you look closely, you’ll SEE the buildup. It’s nasty. A dirty mouth is a dirty mouth is a dirty mouth. You have bad breath, a breeding ground for germs, and c’mon just do it. Seriously, take a look at your teeth, and if your teeth look (or feel) fuzzy, darker, or I actually don’t even know, but I’ve seen some funk on a couple people. Please do yourself a favor and clean those bad boys. You will have a much nicer smile. 🙂
2. Disease! You can get heart disease, respiratory disease, diabetes, and periodontal disease. We’re all at risk for some disease. If you can cut down your chances of getting it, why wouldn’t you? Floss cost is minimal, and it only takes about two minutes to do (unless you’re anal, but even then, we’re looking at five minutes). So, do me a favor and do it.

Mouthwash: Crest 3D Glamorous White.
Okay, I’m a baby with mouthwash. I don’t even do it every day, but I’m getting into it. There are germs in your mouth. There just are. Your mouth is hot and wet, so there will always be germs. You should, however, take some precautions. I like the 3D white, because it’s two birds with one stone. First, it claims to whiten and second, it kills the bacteria (plus has about seven other benefits on the bottle).

Try to mouthwash.

Whitestrips.
I don’t remember this first time I used whitestrips, but I have used them about four or five times in my life. The first time I used whitestrips, I used Listerine whitening strips.

Don’t waste your time with them. I must have been nineteen or so. They were a pain to put on, they moved out of place, and they didn’t do very much.

After a year or so, I used Crest Whitestrips. I didn’t use the professional effects until much later, but these were iffy. The thing that bothered me is that my gums were sore within two days, my teeth were sensitive, and they didn’t whiten the entire tooth. So, my teeth were mostly white, but if you looked closely (like I did), you could see that it missed tiny spots. Irritating, to say the least.

I did, eventually, switch to professional effects (and whatever is before and after that, too). Sure, my teeth were whiter, but it wasn’t an immaculate white that I could really notice. Also, there is some drool-age involved, and it was also pretty painful. I did it every six to seven months, and each time I told myself, “I will never do this again.”

Last week, I picked up 3D White Supreme Flexfit by Crest. I didn’t have high hopes as I put the strip on my teeth. Apparently, you can stretch these strips to cover all of your teeth (back teeth, too), and they won’t move. You keep them on for one hour, and then you can see results in about three days.

Likely story, Crest.

Except that they are wonderful. For starters, there is no drool. You put these babies on, you can drink water, and you can talk without a lisp (or drool). You can hardly tell that they’re on. They did hurt my gums briefly, but that’s because I was brushing like a yeti (because yeti’s brush), and my gums bled. Once I switched to my new brush, I felt no pain. I will admit that my teeth are sensitive, but that’s to be expected. Yes, iced drinks are out of the question, but this girl loves room temperature water and tea through a straw. I have no qualms.

The results? After my first application, I looked in the mirror and they were whiter. Not just the sort of white you get after 14 days of other applicators. No, they were white. Today, I was outside and my mom said, “your teeth are so white right now. Are you using those strips?”

My mom’s like me. There is no fluff. If my teeth were gangly, she’d tell me. So, if you can afford the 50$ strips and would like whiter teeth, I would definitely recommend them.

One final thing to note: the tongue!
I have the world’s worst gag reflex in the world.

I still brush my tongue every day.

Please, please, please brush your tongue. Your tongue has buildup of gunk, too and no one’s going to want to kiss you or speak closely to you if your breath is kickin’. I say this with love. If I can brush my tongue (and nearly puke ten times as I’m doing it), because it’s for the greater good, you can, too. It’s super important. You’re super important.

I hope you take care of your mouths.

Never Again, Summer Sun, Never Again.

Tags

5k, calves, disease, fit, fitness, fitspiration, fitspo, hair care, health, healthy, heat, humidity, injury, jog, jogging, life, lifestyle, run, running, shin splints, summer, sun

I made the mistake of running in 80+ degree weather today. I took the necessary precautions (sunscreen), and I felt fine during the first few minutes. My house felt nice and cold, so I decided to run in the afternoon instead of waiting until dusk. I figured it might be nice to break a sweat and wear a pair of shorts.

I was wrong.

Slowly, but surely, the run became progressively unbearable. I started to compare the thickness in the air to body heat. It felt like I was surrounded by seventy, very large, sticky, warm men. I felt claustrophobic. I could hardly breathe. I felt like I was running in slow motion. Every song on my running playlist irritated me. Who put Robyn on there? Is this Roots track always this annoying? Why did I find this Clash song so catchy before? I get what I give, New Radicals? Is that right? If I have to listen to one more rap song…Shut up, Taylor Swift.

This went on and on.

I wanted to throw my iPod. I decided that I would rather hear music than listen to my own breathing (if we can call that breathing). I only had eight minutes left. I tried to think about the new novel I’m working on—where will I take it next? Should I use chapters to break it up? Immediately, my crazy alter-ego voice took over, “who cares? It’s a thousand degrees out here! Go inside before you have a heat stroke. You’re not built for this!”

Seven minutes left.

I wanted someone to lock me in a freezer and throw away the key. I couldn’t tell whether I was sweating or if the sunscreen hadn’t dried yet. Was my scalp getting burned? Was my hair lightening?

Trying to con your brain into thinking about anything but what you don’t want to think about can be tricky. Typically, I’m pretty good at it. Today, however, every thought was tainted with the overwhelming heat. I wasn’t catching a break. I thought about the different doshas. I really have no Pitta in my dosha. I hate humidity and heat. I could live without the sun, most likely.

See, these are the thoughts that helped get me through.

I really didn’t think I would finish my run, but I knew I had to. I told myself that if I didn’t finish, I would run every day of the summer during lunchtime. That way, I would feel the extreme displeasure of the sun and humidity for the next three months. Of course, any rational person would keep running to avoid this horrific idea.

Another, more levelheaded, reason that I decided to keep at it, was for the people who cannot run. I’m a hypochondriac and always fear the worst. I’m terrified of MS and I feel awful when I read about people who have it. I feel for anyone that can’t run, period. More specifically, I hate that there are actual people that literally, physically cannot run. It irritates me to think about. Last fall, I couldn’t run due to shin splints. Shin splints and serious disabilities are not at all comparable, but I couldn’t run without excruciating pain.

Not everyone is lucky enough to put one foot down in front of the other. My own dog was recently injured. She wasn’t able to get up the stairs. Lucky for her, she’s only fifty pounds and I could lift her up. Her favorite thing is running, though. She’s better now and with any luck, she’ll be running in no time.

My point, however, is to run.

When I first started running, I would ask myself one question: does it hurt? If it didn’t hurt, then I had to channel my inner Kenyan and carry on.

So, did it hurt?

My brain hurt. I felt uncomfortable, but my legs still worked. My heart was still beating.

Thankfully, I finished my run, skipped the cool down (oops!), and went inside. I plastered myself on the dining room floor and drank 28 oz. of water. With my limbs sprawled out and the fresh, cold air enveloping me, I tried to focus on my shin exercises (failed miserably). The overwhelming feeling of having overheated took away from my usual elation from a good run. So, I can’t say I felt accomplished or anything. I was just glad I didn’t die right then and there.

I also promised myself that I will be running in the evening from here on out. Unless the temperature drops below 70, I won’t be doing that again. A nice upside was the ice cold shower after drinking water. I forgot how refreshing cold water feels. It’s almost like being in a pool, except you know you’re not floating in pee and the water is cleaner.

Running is great to relax and clear my head. Unfortunately, that idea is lost on me when I can’t concentrate on anything but the minutes left.

http://instagram.com/p/YL4nX6otyd/

I’m going to inscribe that on my shoes.

Yesterday I became a woman

Tags

coming of age, deep tissue, health, health and wellness, lol, massage, rant, salon, spa, swedish massage, woman, writer, writing

I had my first massage, facial, and pedicure.

Alright, I didn’t become a woman, but I felt like I was a disgrace to most women. Most women (and men) have had massages, facials and pedicures. I don’t understand the need for a pedicure—how lazy must you really be to need someone to do anything to your feet? It’s a lot like having your shoes shined at the airport.

Unnecessary.

For Valentine’s Day, Steven bought us the Heart-to-Heart spa package. The appointments were booked, so we ended up booking it for two months later. The following is a recap of the journey:

My masseuse said he was going to do a deep tissue, Swedish massage. He asked my pain threshold and I said I can take most things (I relied on my shin splints and extreme toe stub as a point of reference). First, I should mention I did not feel comfortable with my clothes off. I felt quite nervous, actually. I kept thinking, “I don’t really need a massage.  I don’t want some guy touching me.” He said that my first massage might hurt and it’s supposed to.

This was a surprise, but I thought he was just pegging me as a big sissy that couldn’t handle a little roughness.

Boy, was I wrong.

At first, it was a little pressure, but nothing I couldn’t take. I thought I might enjoy it. I was beginning to open up, when suddenly, his dew claws came out.

He zeroed in on my left tripezius and went to town. What I mean to say is that he went to town and back home and then back to town again. Repeatedly. For the longest time of my life. It felt like someone was taking an extra sharp ice pick and jabbing it all along that muscle. Back and forth.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Finally, I said, “could you use a little less pressure?” and he goes “sure.” I think, “thank God I opened my mouth. I never say what I’m thinking.” The ice pick was now a butter-knife.

If you’ve ever tried to cut bread with a butter-knife, you know that you can’t actually cut anything. He did the same thing with slightly less pressure. Then finally I say, “why does that side hurt so much?” “Oh, well it’s supposed to. On a pain scale, it should be about an 8. A five or a six, too. I mean, nine would be…”

Unbearable.

He wanted to say unbearable. I wanted to say unbearable. I wanted to say this is unbearable.

Then he moved to my legs. At this point, I tried to move the fingers of my left hand and realized I couldn’t. I tried to move my hand and hardly could. It hurt to move. I was distracted when he said I had quite long toes. This is true: I have long fingers and toes. I have a freak-flag and I’m proud of it.

More pressing was my inability to move my arm. If you’ve ever done extreme lifting, you know that feeling where lifting a pen is nearly impossible. My hand felt so heavy.

Alas, as I was lamenting over my new handicap, those monster claws made their way up to my back again and made sure to kill whatever feeling I had left (this is a lie: I felt everything. I felt nothing but pain. I felt all of my tendons separate and collapse under this beast’s fingers). It was like a sadist getting his fix. I just took it like a fool!

After the massage, I went to get my facial. I don’t recall saying thank you to Scissorhands. I typically say it out of habit, but I can’t remember saying it. On a deep, visceral level, I knew I was just wronged. I remember thinking I will never have another massage again. On my way to the facial, he said, “it takes about five massages for a massage to feel good.”

This reminds me of alcohol. It takes time and an acquired taste.

Let me tell you something: you can get used to anything, but why would you? If something is unpleasant, I will not get used to it, nor do I want to—least of all for social status or a social norm. No, thank you. I’ll pass. Freak-flag is mine.

The facial was nerve-wracking. I have extremely sensitive skin, so I mentioned that to her (Sylvia). She was amazing! She was funny and nice and informative. She was also very gentle. The bones in my face didn’t break under her dainty fingers. I had to wear a pair of heated mittens and then she put a pair of heated slippers on my feet. I started laughing at how ridiculous this whole situation was. There was a machine in my face blowing steam at me. The machine looked like it had two eyes and ears. The steam was blowing out of his nose.

I’m positive my next piece of writing will involve a spa.

Finally, I had a pedicure. She said my nails are too short! It’s true; I cut them so they don’t hit my sneakers when I’m running. I picked a coral color. I’m more of a muted color kind of girl, but I figure when-in-Rome, right? She also said I have very soft feet. I never gave much thought to my feet, but I was flattered nonetheless. While she did whatever she did to my cuticles, I couldn’t stop moving my feet! That was the worst tickling feeling ever. I was so uncomfortable. I must have looked quite ridiculous.

After I had my feet in that little drier, I put them in my shoes and felt my nails stick. Uh-oh. So, my two big toes are smeared coral. Oops. It’s okay.

Then, when I got home, I looked in the mirror to take a shower (I was greasy-faced and skinned that I just couldn’t take it).

I HAD (HAVE) BRUISES on my shoulders. The capillaries exploded and it looks like two giant hickeys!

My back is in so much pain. When I put my clothes on, it’s a whole debacle. Reaching for things or stretching hurts immensely! I even had a nightmare about it, last night.

Steven’s massage was okay. He said it was a little rough–certainly not his best massage, but not as terrible as mine. He fell asleep during his facial, and his pedicure went so well that he chose sparkly gold as his nail color–not kidding.

So, today, I called the spa and let them know that the massage was quite rough and that my results aren’t physically appealing. I just hope no one else gets the iron hand on their back. The receptionist said the boss will probably call me back.

All in all, I would never have any of those again. I don’t feel like any more of a woman being “pampered.” Though, if that’s being pampered, I don’t want any part of it.

I’m more than happy painting my own toe nails (clear, thank you!) and washing my face with soap and water. And as for a massage, I think I’ll stick with a cold shower after a hot run and a nice smoothie for dessert.

Such is Life

Tags

avocado, detox, fitness, fitspiration, fitspo, health, health food, healthy, jogging, joshi, running

Three weeks ago, I stubbed my toe into devastation.

I could hardly walk for a few days (let alone run). Two weeks later, I picked up where I left off and decided to continue my running schedule.

My toe had other plans.

The second run was pretty painful. My toe swelled to double its original size and I took three steps back (I could hardly walk again). This was on Monday. Since then, I’ve kept my foot elevated and remained barefoot whenever possible. It is healing (I guess) and today I can walk without too much of a limp. I have decided not to run until it is completely healed (to avoid another setback).

Instead, I’ve been doing Amanda Russell workouts to stay in shape. She kicked my butt last Thursday. In fact, I couldn’t sit without cursing that workout, because my bum was in such pain. I’ve also mixed in other workouts to tide me over, but it’s not the same as running. Since the weather has warmed, I have lost the hoodie and the facemask. I figure by Monday my toe should be completely healed (right?) and I’ll be able to run then. I hope, anyway. I feel like one mishap after another is taking over my running life.

I’ve also tried the Joshi Detox, but I only stayed with it for just under two weeks. He tries to get you to quit eating acidic foods and sugar, while simultaneously changing your palate to prefer healthier foods that promote digestion and better organ function (essentially). He has a list of foods that you can eat and a list to stay away from. He has a list of recipes in the back, but they are pretty boring. Despite being able to eat a lot of foods, it can seem draining. You can’t have any condiments, save for a pinch of salt and pepper (or herbs). It’s a gluten-free diet and this is probably the hardest part of the whole thing. You can’t have half of the things that you’re used to eating. If you look at any ingredient label, you’re bound to find wheat. There is absolutely no wheat allowed on this detox. It might sound easy, but check out your cabinets.

I implore you.

Pancakes, bread, cereal (even the “good” kinds), white rice, pasta, soy sauce, ice cream, ketchup, seitan, gravy powder, processed meats, soups, and plenty of others.

Looking at labels is something everyone should already be doing, but seeing wheat as an ingredient is probably the most heartbreaking thing when you’re hungry and realizing that your entire kitchen is a gluten war-zone.

Also, no fruit during the three weeks except for bananas. Thankfully, I love bananas, so this was okay; however, now that I am not detoxing, my freezer is stocked with mangos, pineapples, blueberries, cherries, and strawberries.

Initially, I began sleeping better. I didn’t even realize I was on a detox. I don’t think I’ve ever slept as well as I have slept while doing this detox. Since then, my sleep isn’t as great, but I’ll never forget those nights I had. Thanks Joshi. A more pressing topic was my skin. My face broke out with flesh-colored pimples. At first, I ignored them, because I knew it was my body flushing itself of toxins. After about a week, it got to be rough. I couldn’t stand to touch my face after brushing my teeth. I felt little bubbles and, at one point, I think my face itched. (Disclaimer: this could be my utter disgust with my face and I THOUGHT it itched, but I don’t know.)  It started to clear up after I drank a liver cleansing drink.

The day I quit the detox was a depressing one. It was Saint Patrick’s Day. A gluten-free pizza was put in the oven. This pizza looked delicious and smelled great.

Looks can be deceiving.

This was not edible.

For dessert, I tried to make carob fudge. This was also inedible. The next day, I tried to stick to it, but ultimately gave up. I had Chinese food and have never looked back. I did discover that my diet is typically Joshi-approved, except I do have gluten via whole grain bread. Sorry, Joshi. When you can give me a better alternative to this bread (and none of that brown rice bread), I will give up Sara Lee.

Overall, I would suggest the Joshi Detox for anyone that wants to change their lifestyle and/or eat healthier.

I have, however, grown partial to grapefruit. This is unfortunate, because the birth control I’m currently on can have severe side-effects if I eat grapefruit. I only mention this in case there is someone out there that has also discovered the joys of grapefruit. Don’t shoot the messenger. I used to hate grapefruit, but while on the detox, was encouraged to have it (in a drink, anyway). I actually enjoyed it more than an orange or a cutie (which I haven’t been feeling these days anymore).

Another thing I have discovered (which I previously disliked) is avocado. I had my first one today and sliced a fourth of it on some toast. I only had one piece, but liked it so much that I had two pieces tonight after class. I also drizzled some honey (mostly to be fancy…okay, and because I love honey like a long-lost family member) on the avocado and toast…aiojsiushoi! It was the best! Tonight, I saw a photo of toast with avocado and scrambled eggs.

Guess what I’m having tomorrow for breakfast?

I still do not like guacamole, but I think these things take time.  I mean, it’s taken me years to try an avocado. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve bought them, but they go bad while I look at them.

Tags

cold, comedy, fitness, fitspo, freezing, funny, head, headache, health, healthy, jog, jogging, run, running, seinfeld

What he said.

It stumps me to understand why anyone would use their horn for anything other than alerting another on the road. I know I’ve honked at people I’ve seen, but I’m careful to slow down, make the eye contact and then wave. Usually they’re overjoyed and we go about our separate ways, but I can’t say I honk at people.

So, if there are any honkers out there, just think before you honk. As a lady, I’ve been honked at and no, I can’t say I have ever even looked in the direction of which car it was. Even if we (and I’m going to speak for all women right now) were interested, like Seinfeld said, what would you have us do? Run to your car and let you know we’re available for dinner?

C’mon.

On to my run: Endomondo didn’t work today. For some reason, the GPS couldn’t find me. I’m actually kind of glad, though. I don’t think I’m comfortable with other people knowing where I’m running (not that anyone cares, but you never know). So, today was fifty degrees and windy. I think, with the wind chill, it was about negative ten degrees.

Okay, not really, but it was colder than I anticipated.

Due to the weather channel’s temperature and the warmth I felt stepping outside, I decided to forgo my mask and running jacket.

Mistake.

During the first nine minutes of the run, I felt okay, but the second nine had me feeling progressively worse. My head and neck felt stiff; I felt this pressure in the back of my neck and the feeling that my head was swimming. I didn’t think I was going to finish the run. Of course, everyone knows that once you start running, you can’t get home without running. If you walk, you’re going to beat yourself up the whole time and people are going to actually see you walking.

I know, “who cares who sees you walking?”

I do. I’m not wearing my running clothes and going for a walk. I could wear my winter jacket and not freeze on my fancy, little walk home.

So, I did what I knew I had to do and finished the run. After the second interval was finished, I wanted to curl into a ball and call it quits. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s the truth. I knew I’d make it home out of sheer desperation—like those people with incredible strength in a stressful situation; however, I figured I’d probably have permanent brain damage due to my brain freezing (what? Yes, these are my thoughts out there).

The last eight minutes of the run were brutal. Every song on my playlist was awful. Songs that I’ve loved were boring and repetitive. I found myself skipping every song. In fact, I switched to an entirely different playlist altogether. I played “Train in Vain” by The Clash on repeat for the last few minutes. To keep myself from thinking of how horrible I felt, I sang along and tried to think of the many times I sang it in my car (I get quite animated).

When I finally did get home, I collapsed onto the couch, but the room seemed to spin clockwise around me. To avoid the vertigo feeling, I retreated to the floor of my living room and didn’t move for what felt like hours (it was more like ten minutes, but it was intense). Thankfully, I did find some strength to move (only due to the fact that I can’t lie straight on my back for too long, because my head hurts—pillows are okay, though) and lied on my side for some time. After my shower and some lunch, I felt better.

I realize that I have to work on my playlists. As much as I loved them, they’re just not doing it for me. I also can’t ever neglect to wear my mask again. I don’t care how warm the weather people claim it is; I will be wearing that thing for my own sanity. The run itself wasn’t even hard. The feeling in my head was the worst, though.

Now, could I sound any more like a whining baby?

Between you and me: I could.

Back in the Game!

Tags

5k, fit, fitness, fitspo, health, healthy, injury, jog, jogging, philadelphia, philly, run, running, shin splints

I have been running fairly regularly, but I have forgotten to update in here! There are a few things I would like to mention:

Medical diagnosis:
After meeting with a sports doctor, he advised me that I probably have shin splints. He wasn’t very helpful in discussing whether my shoes were the problem or what type of shoes I should look into. To be perfectly honest, he didn’t tell me much more than what I already knew (from excessive research). He did tell me that I hyper-pronate, but only ever so much. He suggested two to three days of physical therapy a week, but due to my new job(s) and full time college course load, I couldn’t commit. He was pushy about it, but I wasn’t having it. Instead, he gave me a packet regarding shin splints and types of rehabilitation exercises. I was also sent to get x-rays done on both of my legs. If they came back negative, then I would need a bone scan.

So, I did my x-ray. Two days later, I received a phone call saying that my legs were fine. No fractures. The next day, however, my mom got a phone call claiming that I had some type of fractures in my legs. I signed in online to view my results and they claim that I have “unremarkable” structure. Technically, they found nothing. I didn’t bother calling them back, because I know (deep down) that my legs are actually fine. I know that I may have had fractures a couple of months ago (I’m pretty sure that I screwed something up in my legs quite terribly in November).

The one piece of advice that was worth the office visit was the rehabilitation exercises and the prescription. He prescribed that I place heat on my shins before I go for a run and then do these five or six exercises (it’s more like 10 exercises). After I run, I have to do the same stretches/exercises and then ice my shins.

I tried this for the first time on Sunday and I was skeptical. It was more of a last ditch attempt to fix what I felt was broken. I expected my shins to be on fire for a minute or two during the beginning of my run, but I never felt any pain.

Today I ran again and did those stretches/exercises. I haven’t had a problem since. Don’t get me wrong, if I squat down and place all of my weight on my shins, I feel a pain in my left shin, but that’s only when I’m bending down to get something out of the fridge. If anything, I should quit squatting and staring at the fridge for long periods of time (I mean, really, what the–!).

Stage:
I’m not sure what stage I’m on, but I am up to eight minutes of running and two minutes of walking. I repeat that three times and I’m finished. I have also been eating more than usual. I don’t log my calorie intake anymore so I can’t say (with utmost certainty) that I’m taking in more calories, but I feel like I am. I also know that they are not the good kind either. I don’t drink nearly as much anymore, either.

I used to get 10 – 14 glasses of liquids a day, but for the past week I’ve only been getting maybe 6 (if that). Part of it was because I worked and couldn’t just drink as much tea, but the other part is because I didn’t plan it. I usually have about four cups of tea a day. I have two cups of coffee (well, it’s one tablespoon of coffee and 16oz of water); that brings me up to six cups of water a day. Then I’ll have two bottles of water (another 4 glasses) and that brings me to 10 cups of water. I’ll have to start planning again. I’m much better structured.

If I know what I’m going to have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then I can plan my snacks and drinks. It sounds obsessive, but it usually comes naturally to me. I’m such a creature of habit, so my days rarely change.

 Style:
My style of running has remained outside. Today might have been the coldest and windiest day that I’ve ever run. I think it was under 35 degrees and it was so windy! I ran a little bit uphill but mostly even pavement or the street. I know that I was initially against running around my neighborhood, but I prefer it to running in a circle anywhere. I don’t need to run in a park or on a treadmill. I can’t wait until I’m running for a half hour to an hour at a time. I will start running errands (literally!).

I’m going to post another update regarding weatherproofing your run. Seeing as I am a practical, fairly cheap shopper, I will let you know what the best bargains are from gloves, headgear, lotions, lip balms and running clothes. I am still looking into better running socks, but more on that later.

PS. I’m signed up for The Color Run in Philadelphia, July 14th.